“Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” – Ephesians 6:11-12
Through all these years of darkness, the enemy of my soul has bombarded me with messages such as “God has abandoned you. He is not here; He does not love you. He does not even like you. Why would He? No one does. God is probably not even real anyway. You have just been brainwashed. You cannot do anything right. You are a failure at everything you do. No one appreciates you. Your family would be better off without you. The world would be a better place if you just die!”
I am sorry to say that, at times, I bought all of it. Yet I never recognized it for what it was – an attack on my spirit. I did not understand that God was right there beside me in my darkness, strengthening my faith.
It’s scary in the darkness. It can make you desperate, bringing out the worst in you – at least, it did in me. In my desperation, my self-centered nature became very evident. I did not understand that I was dealing not only with the deceit of my own insecurities, but with the lying enemy of my soul as well.
As God began to bring me back into the light, I realized that two spirits in particular – depression and self-pity – have plagued me. I felt a little silly but I began to rebuke those spirits. I kept doing it every day, until one day, I noticed that they were completely gone. Not only that, but I actually felt joyful; it took me awhile to recognize that feeling. But yes, I do remember joy!
So now, when I feel any of these old negative emotions creeping back, I pray, but I also use my authority in Christ. I see now that so many of my negative emotions are spiritual attacks. However, I have weapons – I do not have to be a helpless victim.
I dusted off my weapons and I intend to use them regularly now. I have lately made a conscious effort to put on the Armor of God each morning. It may sound hokey, but this is war and it has lately become very real to me. Trying to fight it on my own, I was constantly defeated, but in Christ, I am always the winner.