“Then He said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the Lord’s presence.’ At that moment, the Lord passed by. A great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and was shattering cliffs before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was a voice, a soft whisper.” – 1 Kings 19:11-12.
I’ve always wanted to hear God’s voice. At times, I’ve felt sure that I have. More often, I’ve pleaded with God to speak to me and felt like my prayers never went beyond the ceiling. I’m not saying I expected a booming voice from the sky or that I needed a burning bush or anything. Just some kind of clear reassurance of God’s presence; whatever that means. Basically, I just did not want to doubt anymore that He’s there and that He cares. But I did.
As God has begun opening my eyes lately, I’ve had this most incredible recognition. Like everything else He’s been showing me, it’s so obvious and simple. I find myself feeling a bit slow for not catching on sooner but grateful that God finally got it from my head to my heart.
I can see now that God speaks to me all the time, but I have not been confident in that Voice. His way is not loud and dramatic; His voice is quiet and gentle. As I Kings 19 says, the Lord is not in the wind, the earthquake or the fire, but in the gentle whisper – the small still voice.
We have this tendency to expect our relationship with God always to be dramatic and exciting, or else He must be ignoring us. Sometimes we will have those mountaintop moments with God, but more often we’ll be learning to walk by faith, not by sight.
The temptation is to want to keep those mountaintop experiences going and keep our emotions stirred up, always looking for the next high. This is so dangerous as it causes us to be misled into trying to duplicate them and frequently left feeling dissatisfied with our lives. Maybe that is why there is such a drug epidemic these days. We’ve gotten the idea that life is supposed to feel good all the time and something is wrong if it doesn’t.
I recently read an illustration that was helpful to me. When my child is doing my will, she will hear nothing from me. If, for instance, I’ve told her not to ride her bike on the street and I look out the window to see that she is riding her bike on the sidewalk, I’m content to enjoy watching her out there having fun. However, if I were to look out the window and see that she is riding in the street, I’m going to get out there and call for her to get off the street. So maybe it’s the same with God. If I’m in His will, I hear nothing. God is simply enjoying me.
I don’t think being in God’s will is too complicated. I choose to be in God’s will, I pray for God’s will and then just believe that it will be. If I do wander off the “sidewalk”, I can trust that God will let me know, just as I would let my beloved child know.
I think I’ve always had it backwards. I wanted God to shout to me or give me miraculous signs to tell me His will. “KIM , STAY ON THE SIDEWALK. DON’T FORGET TO STAY ON THE SIDEWALK. LET ME EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW TO STAY ON THE SIDEWALK!” Meanwhile, I’ve been on the sidewalk the whole time.
Now that I think about it, that actually is the way I’ve been parented my whole life, and it is kind of insulting. I guess it makes sense that I would expect this and believe something is wrong without it, but I prefer the vote of confidence of a Father who counts on my ability and willingness to do what He’s asked of me.
It comes back to trust again, doesn’t it? If I trust God, then I believe He is capable of keeping me in His will and guiding me. I love that! I’ve made it so hard for so long, telling myself that God didn’t care, wasn’t interested in me. Now I can see that I just wanted God to fit into my mold instead of accepting His way.
That bit of awareness has changed how I feel about God’s love. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but I just know He’s there now and I don’t feel the need to jump up and down to try to get His attention.
God is there; He is listening; and I do know His voice after all.