Today is my Mom’s birthday. She would have been 71. I lit a candle on “her” table and sang Happy Birthday, as is my tradition. Remembering her birthday this year is gratitude and sadness for me at the same time. I’m thankful for the mother God gave me and for the 36 years that she was here for me. I’m sad that she can’t be here now to share my life and see her grandchildren grow up into the lovely people she knew they would become.
It seems to me, that at this point in life, the relationship between mother and daughter could be the most enjoyable. I’ve grown up some from my arrogant youth; I’ve raised my own children long enough to appreciate what a difficult task it is and be uninclined to be critical of any of my mother’s mistakes. God has humbled me and I have softened.
I’ve also been learning what my mom always tried to teach me – to lighten up and enjoy life, to take care of me, because I matter too. Mom would be happy about that. How wonderful it would be to have her here to do some of that enjoying with me. Then again, Mom is in a better place now and I wouldn’t want to change that.
I’ll have to content myself with the many wonderful memories of her. I remember her beautiful voice; she could sing like an angel and I have no doubt she has a prominent place now in God’s heavenly choir. One of my favorite songs to hear her sing was “Sentimental Journey”, especially when she sang it with her sisters. They were terrific. There was nothing more soothing to me than laying my head in her lap while she caressed my hair and sang to me.
I’ll also never forget my mom’s unconditional love, which was evident on so many occasions but never more clearly than the time I had the bright idea to run off to Texas with some boy I had just met and with whom I thought I was in love – I was 19. That must have been terrifying for her. Yet, when I came back a month later with my heart broken and my tail between my legs, Mom never said a single word that sounded remotely like “I told you so”. Without a hint of reprimand for my foolishness, she just took me in her arms and welcomed me home. That kind of love was exactly what I needed and it had a powerful healing effect.
When I was a young mother, Mom was always worried that I never took time for myself or did anything for me. I was so busy caring for my family that I had no time for that. I thought my resources would never run out (Boy, was I wrong!). So whenever Mom came to visit, she always made a point of pampering me – whether it was taking me out to eat, shopping, going to the movies, babysitting the kids so that my husband and I could go on a date or just trying to lighten my load by doing housework and cooking for me.
It took losing her to finally understand her point and realize that, since she wasn’t around to take care of me anymore, it was time I started taking care of myself – for myself and for my family.
That was my mom – a beautiful, vibrant woman who loved life and lived it to the fullest. She was the most giving person I know, always sharing whatever she had with everyone. She used to tell my sister and me that she was spending our inheritance on us while she lived and she did. What a special way to pass your assets on to your children!
Mom was so positive and determined to be happy no matter what her conditions. She was a successful businesswoman and a hard worker. Whatever she wanted, or needed, she went after it with 110%.
She was fiercely loyal and devoted to her family and friends and made every effort to be there for each of us. Everywhere she went in her many travels, Mom made lifelong friends. Everyone loved her because it was obvious that she loved people and made each one feel special.
I don’t think I had any idea how many lives Mom had impacted until the day of her funeral. The huge crowd that attended and all the strangers who approached me with stories of how she had touched their lives overwhelmed me. People came from all over the country. I was so very proud to be her daughter.
It’s for these reasons and many more that I honor my mother. I thank God for giving me the mother who was just right for me and for all He has taught me through her love and her life.
I will miss her until the day I die. Still she lives on…in me, in my sister, in her grandchildren, in the hearts of all of us who love her, and just possibly in the spit-fire spirit of a little great niece who carries her name.