“To keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ “ – 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
I’ve been asking God to heal me from PMS, but, so far, He has not chosen to do so. He does, however, seem to be answering my prayers to keep the monster at bay. By His power, with much prayer, I’ve been overcoming my battles with issues such a depression, anger, critical thoughts, and self-pity.
This past week, though, I’ve felt very blah. I have no energy or motivation. I don’t want to talk with anyone or do anything. I’d like to just go back to bed and stay there all day. Nonetheless, I cannot. I’m a mom. There are no vacation days or sick days from motherhood. I will have to stumble through and hope I can keep my big mouth shut. Only by His grace.
The thought of continuing to spend my life in this monthly struggle is discouraging to me. It’s like a cloud that returns repeatedly to hover, taking all the sunshine out of life and turning my world from vibrant colors to grays. I suppose it would be unrealistic of me to think that life can always be blue skies. Yet, even in the midst of it, God continues to teach me.
I don’t want to make the mistake I’ve made so many times of thinking that God does not walk with me through the tough times. Therefore, I’m making a choice to believe He is with me, carrying me, and working all things out for my good, even PMS.
Paul talked about the thorn in his life that was there to keep him from becoming conceited. Though he pleaded with God to take it away, His answer was “My grace is sufficient for you”. PMS seems to be my thorn. In spite of the many ways in which God has humbled and convicted me, I can see how very easily I could become proud and take the credit for what He has done in me. So maybe I need a thorn. His grace IS sufficient for me.
As in all things, God’s way is superior. So I submit. Let Your will, not mine, be done, Lord. Even through PMS, I find relief in this letting go. I’m so tired of squirming and resisting, and it feels good just to accept and let God worry about it.