What are my path and my purpose in life? This is the question of the year for me, and one I spend much time pondering.
Twenty-one years ago, I had a very clear vision of my path and purpose. As I began to have children, I felt a strong calling to be a full-time mother. I still can think of no greater calling, even as I look back with mixed emotions about the success of my first mission in life.
The Bible says that you do not reap in the same season that you sow. Therefore, it’s probably premature to come to any conclusions yet, even though it’s a great temptation to me. Of one thing I am confident; I’ve given it my all.
I concluded some time back that I would no longer berate myself for my failings. I’ve devoted myself to my family and loved them to the best of my ability, and I continue to do so. I don’t know what more I could expect of myself and I don’t think God expects any more than that either.
Uncertainty about my past achievements has left me somewhat tentative about moving forward with new goals for this next season of my life. Stepping outside my comfort zone and starting on a new, unknown path is intimidating, whatever it may entail.
What if I’m rejected? What if people don’t appreciate what I have to give? I have enough experience with the sting of rejection and criticism to make me hesitant. What if my best is not good enough again? What if I fail?
There’s always risk in life no matter what path we take. There’s always failure. I will fail sometimes as I have many times before, and through it, I’ve learned some of the most valuable lessons.
Therefore, even though it still frightens me a little, I don’t want to live in fear or miss opportunities because of it. It’s tempting to project into the future and allow the possibilities to intimidate me, but I can’t see the future. I can only take one-step at a time, knowing that God will direct my path and lead me to my next purpose.
There is no rush. Baby steps. I can do that.